Lucky Charm tawag sakin ng officemate ko, kasi daw simula nung maging seatmate kami e lagi na syang kumuquota. Ayon napatunayan nya ulit kanina nung makabenta sya ng 40 K, niyakap nya ko sa sobrang tuwa nya kaya lang minsan may kurot din, tapos yung tapik na mejo malakas. haha

I’m always telling to people that mom doesn’t love me, she doesn’t even care, as long as she see you smile she thinks you’re okay, you’ll only get her attention if you did something wrong or she doesn’t like  and more. But all of those thoughts were wrong. Mama loves me so much. I felt it when she saw me crying because of papa. I felt her love, care and anger. Anger because papa made me cry. It’s just that “oh why am I crying just because of papa if I have mama who took care of me for a long time and who never did what papa made me feel that time.”

Then I realized that why am I keep insisting myself to papa as her daughter if I have mama who’s always there for me. It’s just that because of I already have the father’s love that I am longing for I almost forget that I have mama; who really sacrificed everything. Maybe she’s not that malambing and showy, same as with me. Sa totoo lang, sa kanya ko nakuha yung ugaling yun. The difference is, I’m not showy in terms of aches, yung tipong nasaktan na ako but I can keep smiling pwera na nga lang pag I really can’t bear it. Hindi na matago yung tears samantalang si mama she’s not showy in terms of love, she’s not malambing, she thought that if she gave you what you want you’ll understand it as love. Actually while I’m writing this I’m trying to stop tears to fall too. Yeah it’s really hard but what can I do?

               Mama have gone too far, it’s time for her to feel that she was loved. She doesn’t even celebrate her own birthday kasi nga ang gusto nya yung gagastusin sa handa nya e para sa amin nalang  na mga anak nya.

               Now that I’m old enough I really understand mama. She loves as kahit pa sabihin na tatay namin yung reason why she suffers like this. Tapos makikita nya pa na I am crying because of that man, less that 2 years palang napaiyak nya ako ng ganun for how many times.  Now I understand why she doesn’t like me to be with papa because she does’t want me to get hurt. She knew me more than others know me. Kung pano ko pahalagahan yung tao and kung anong kaya kong isacrifice for the people I love. No exceptions. Yung tipong tatay ko yan e kahit pa puro lies ang sinasabi. Ang masakit kasi dun is tatay mo mismo ang magpapasama ng loob mo kahit pa you did nothing but to love him.

               Mama kahit pa hindi ko sinasabi sa’yo, kahit pa I don’t hug you whenever you cry, kahit pa I don’t kiss you kapag dadating or aalis ako, God knows how much I love you. Walang katumbas!

akosikhelzy replied to your post: akosikhelzy replied to your post: kilig…

ayie..

haha wag masyadong kiligin hindi kami pwede

akosikhelzy replied to your post: kilig moment

ayie..sino kaya un?

nasa paligid ^_^

yung hindi mo sya pinapansin pero lagi mo syang nahuhuling nakatingin.